Hello Stormagedon, it’s the Doctor…here to help. Sh sh sh sh sh…hey…there, there. Be quiet. Go to sleep. Stop crying…you got a lot to look forward to you know. A normal human life on earth…mortgage repayments…a 9-5…a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later boy. You, Alfie Owens, you are so young, and you know right now everything’s ahead of you. You could be anything, yes, I know, you could walk among the stars…they don’t actually look like that y’know…they are rather more impressive.
Ya y’know when I was little like you I dreamt of the stars. I think it’s fair to say in the language of your age that I lived my dream…I owned the stage, gave it 110%. I hope you have as much fun as I did Alfie. Your Dad’s trying his best you know. Yes, I know— it’s not his fault he doesn’t have mammary glands. No! neither do I……Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me? Come on Alfie, RUN!
”